Come to think of it, I do have a blog.

Well, dear readers, it has been awhile. No, for all of those of you who are wondering I have not graduated from high-school. Yet. I just wrote a resume, which was the final thing on my senior project list, and which I procrastinated all summer. Better late than never. And no, I have not had an issue of Poor Ricky's for about five months. But we have finished yearbook (after more than a little delay) and I am now going to have time for my almanac. Except algebra. Yes, college algebra 110 is the only thing that stands in the way of me and microsoft publisher. Note to self: never take correspondence math courses. Also, if I did not say so already, I am nineteen. (Cue sobbing). Seriously, nothing happens to me. Everyone else either gets kidnapped, drafted or goes to college by age nineteen, if I am not mistaken. Its frustrating. Ah, well, on the bright sight, I am not paying taxes. But then, if I had been kidnapped, I wouldn't be paying taxes either.

Ahhhh. About that Dependent Clause. I'm Glad you Asked.

Well, I am done with my eighteen-plus pages of senior project papers that I had been worried about. I still have to check them for grammatical errors and do some final touch ups. they technically should have been in today, but really, technically, I should have till the 22nd of june, except that the teacher in charge of senior project is leaving for vacation or whatever on the twelfth. Ah well, ours is not to question why. Unless we want something to get done properly. I just hope that she doesn't catch any dangling modifiers, or anything that I have left in by accident. Well, I guess my mom is going to help me with the grammatical editing, and she is the Seargant-Major English-Major. So I think I'll be safe. What would I do without Mom?
On another note entirely, my grandparents are visiting. It is always very...umm thrilling, when my grandparent on my mom's side come to visit. Although my Dad's family may be rather eccentric (I have an Aunt who is a psychic medium, and also I have a "Ya-Ya Siterhood" aunt, both on my dad's side), at least when they come, we don't need to hear about their gas and bloating. But Mom's family is different. My Mom's Dad was a biologist, so he thinks that it is okay dinner conversation to ask people if they have had a bowel movement yet, and my grandma ..well, we get very familiar with the workings of her digestiive tract. over the course of each visit. Good old Gramma and Grampa. We love 'em though.

Arrgh, the life of a graduating homeschooler is frustrating.

I've never been a graduating homeschooler before. It is a new and extremely frustrating experience. I have been working with an Education Specialist (NOT to be confused with a Special Education Specialist) who has been helping me put together a whatdoyoucallit. You know, the list-thing that tells what you've done during your high-school education. Whatever its called. Anyhow, apparently I need to do a Senior Project. Early in the year, someone gave me about two and a half reams of paper, mostly full of acronyms and what to do with them, all apparently relating to Senior Project (CRLE, CRLS, etc.) It wasn't until about a week ago that they actually told me what all those acronyms meant, and what I was supposed to do with them. The long and the short of it was that I had approxamitely one and a half weeks to write eighteen pages about Career-Related Learning Experiences. Honestly, who knew that that is what CRLE stood for? Come on! The next problem I ran into was that the "Charter School" that my mother had signed me up for so that I could get govt. school money and talk to the Educational Specialist, wanted to know if I wanted to be part of their "graduation ceremony." Apparently I was one of a whopping seven seniors graduating from that hateful "charter school." I only took one class at it, and I dropped out of that class halfway through! Of course I don't want to wear a dress, or whatever it is that graduates wear, march up on stage and sing a song, or whatever it is that they do at graduations. So I told them that my Grandparents were coming into town that day, which was true. I am hoping they can just give me the diploma in an envelope in the mail. It would be so much easier.
I think the one upside to graduating will be that, since I am no longer an official homeschooler, I can poke fun at homeschooling all I want and it won't backfire. I mean if you think about it, homeschoolers really are strange little people, that do the oddest things. And in my opinion, all homeschool groups are run by comlete nazis. Just my opinion, though. I've only been homeschooled for twelve years, though, so I wouldn't really know.
And thus life rolls on for Colin Anti-Social McHomeschool Couch.

Our Amazing Earth

This column is dedicated to the study and preservation of the flora and fauna of our lovely planet Earth. This month, we are going to take an exclusive look into the little known world of the Jackalope. The North American jackalope, Lepus Alleni Antilocapridae, is native to the dry desert regions of Arizona, western New Mexico, and parts of Utah and California. The diet of this peculiar beast is compromised mostly of cholla plants and other small desert shrubs, which it digests with a unique three-chambered stomach. Though rarely seen, it’s existence has been repeatedly verified by naturalists through motion-sensing cameras, skeletal remains and rare spottings. Scientist Don Erbst, who specializes in desert wildlife, and once spent nearly a years distantly observing a single Jackalope, says that “Despite the rarity of these amazing creatures they are an integral part of our southwestern ecosystem.” Though he never got close enough to place a critter cam, Don has greatly increased awareness of this desert wonder, which once inhabited much of western North America , but due to human interference is quickly declining.

The World at a Glance

PR– Kosovo
With the tremendous amount of information that has been available on the recent Kosovo Revolution, very little attention has been given to the fact that Kosovo is one of the largest growers of the soap shrub sudicus scrubiens, and therefore produces over 90% of the world’s soap and detergent. If the uprising in Kosovo persists, it could lead to thousands of workers “being excused” from their jobs and, ultimately, a worldwide soap shortage. This, in turn, could lead to epidemics and pandemics across the globe, due to inadequate hygiene and sanitation. Be afraid. Be very afraid. What can you as an individual do? In view of the crisis at hand and the extreme, I repeat, extreme, hazard this could pose to you and your family, Poor Ricky’s is , for a limited time only, selling soap bush starts. Please send 100$ cash to the address on back. In return, we will laugh out loud and pocket the cash. Or you could give me the money in person, so that I can laugh at your face.

Things to say when there is nothing to say!

As the title implies, these are things to say when there’s nothing to say. Some of them were stolen from movies.
“The moon is bright tonight.”
“Your hands are cold.”
“Well, then let me see…”
“ What’s the lowdown… the word?”
“ This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.”
“You twaulkin’ to me?”
“10-4”
“Gee, that’s swell.”
“My, what big teeth you have, Grandmother!”
“No.” (My sister, Annie, will start laughing if you say this to her.)
“Clayton”( don't say this if someone asks you a yes or no question.)
“Stu; Poor; Llama”

A Semi-Sequiter Conversation with Myself

Poor Ricky Personality One: Well friend, how is your life? We haven't spoken for a while.
Personality 2: Yes, except on weekends and holidays, and never between meals.
P1:Well, thats nice, as long as you stay within your budget.
P2: It may appear that way, but, altough some may see the virtues of a socialistic government, I find the prospect rather upsetting.
P1:Yes, but contrarywise, it would not be judicious to jump into something such as child adoption to soon, either.
P2: I heartily concur.