The Dark and Stormy Night

This one of the latest articles from poor ricky's almanac:
It was a dark and stormy night. The rain poured down on a solitary figure in black, pacing the streets of London. A shot rang out . The dog barked. A woman screamed. A child began to cry. The butler came running. The maid fainted. The chef dropped a dish of pate de foie gras. The Colonel dropped his paper, put on his slippers and grabbed his shotgun. Thunder clapped and lightning illuminated the house. A constable in the street heard the commotion. He blew his whistle. The man all in black ran down the alley. A cat howled. An owl hoo-hooed. Someone ran down the stairs. A door slammed. The rain poured harder. A young man came running to the scene of the commotion. The woman began to sob. The floorboards creaked. A key turned in the latch. The wind howled. Off in the distance, a siren began to sound. The young man said, “What is the matter, darling?” The young woman replied, “ Well, I was aiming for that fly on the wall, but I seem to have shot the goldfish!” “Oh dear,” said the young man, “ I suppose we’ll have to buy a new one. This one had been floating upside down for a few years anyway.”