Breaking News From Everywhere.

Today in Washington, D.C., the secretary for the department of playing in sandboxes announced his new plan “A Sandbox for Every Child.” This proposal was opposed, however by secretary for the U.S. dept.. Of Play Structures, who stated that this proposal was not in accordance with the 1996 play structure safety act. In the sports world today, the chairman of the National Capture the Flag League (NCTFL) officially announced that no athlete can be a part of the league if he is also currently a member of the National Toilet Tag League. This is due to a recent incident during a game of capture the flag between the Arkansas Flaggers and the Nebraska Capturers, when Nebraska player Jimmy O. began flushing his teammates for no apparent reason. This naturally caused confusion and eventually a time out had to be called. Now onto the weather and traffic. There appear to be weather and traffic.